{"id":3052,"date":"2007-01-08T13:18:16","date_gmt":"2007-01-08T19:18:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/?p=3052"},"modified":"2021-03-22T21:50:57","modified_gmt":"2021-03-23T02:50:57","slug":"five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","title":{"rendered":"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut"},"content":{"rendered":"

Click here <\/a>for the original post.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all had our personal ruts. You wake up one morning realizing that there you are, seemingly trapped.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s your job–you\u2019re teetering on real burn-out but you\u2019re fearful of making the move to free yourself. Or a relationship that\u2019s going nowhere, but there you stay, justifying your misery (or boredom) for some dubious better-than-nothing qualities. Maybe it\u2019s the town you live in, or your apartment.<\/p>\n

The \u201cIf only\u2026\u201d theme keeps drifting across your mind.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t think about vinyl records much anymore, but the needles used to get caught in the same groove, endlessly repeating the same sound. And maybe yours is, \u201cI can\u2019t get out\u2026.can\u2019t get out\u2026can\u2019t get out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, people can and do get \u201cunstuck\u201d from all sorts of ruts and grooves. Every day, people bravely leap forward. Starry-eyed, and often looking ten years younger, a patient will show up one morning to say, \u201cI\u2019m finally heading to Petaluma\u201d and ask if I know a good doctor out there. There may be some stumbling at first. Not every change is an unqualified success, but the experience of the change itself is hardly ever regretted.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re serious about exiting a rut and willing to engage in an evening of self-exploration, here\u2019s a five-step activity to help you get unstuck.<\/p>\n

1.\tTake the issue in your life that you feel most intensely traps you.<\/strong> Maybe it\u2019s your weight, the job and the promotion you haven\u2019t received, or the people you work with. Or the city you\u2019re living in, your current relationship, or circle of friends. Now on a piece of paper headed \u201cMy Stuck Situation,\u201d draw lines to create three columns. In the first, list every reason you\u2019re reluctant to make changes. In the second, list the worst case scenarios if you would make changes. And in the third (here you can fantasize galore!), list all the possibilities your life can open to if and when you make the leap.<\/p>\n

2.\tLook at your \u201cworst case scenario\u201d column.<\/strong> I want you to think of word or phrase that describes your emotions when you look at this list. Somewhere there\u2019s a common thread to all your \u201cworst cases\u201d and you need to discover it. It might be I Fear the Unknown, or I Have Real Issues with Self Esteem. Or maybe: I Can\u2019t Upset My Parents, I Can\u2019t Disappoint People, or Challenges Frighten Me. There will be some phrase, and you might feel a shiver down your spine in the very act of writing it. Like it or not, this is part of your character. But, of course, you can change. People do, every day.<\/p>\n

3.\tWrite that phrase boldly across the top of a second piece of paper <\/strong>and prepare for a personal review of your life story. Think back over your life and start listing examples of how this phrase permeated your significant life choices. Did you always take dumb jobs because you feared challenges? Did you always find yourself dating jerks because you felt unworthy of anyone better? Did you always stay in the same town because your parents made you feel guilty about leaving? As you work on this list, the words \u201cyikes!\u201d or \u201cgosh!\u201d (or a juicy expletive) might escape your lips, because you\u2019ll be amazed how ancient some of these issues actually are. But as psychologists say, \u201cNow we\u2019re getting somewhere.\u201d Becoming aware of yourself like this, even though it may be painful at first, is ultimately very healing.<\/p>\n

4. On a new sheet of paper, start listing how your phrase<\/strong> (\u201ccan\u2019t upset my parents,\u201d \u201clow self esteem,\u201d etc.) is currently affecting other aspects of your life. Maybe you\u2019ll unearth why you\u2019re always eating the same unhealthful foods. Watching the same TV programs. Taking the same vacations. Same love interests, like your dad.<\/p>\n

5.\tOn the last piece of paper, re-write all those \u201cworst case scenarios.\u201d<\/strong> You\u2019ll probably feel just a teensy bit nervous as you write them out, but remember, they\u2019re only words. Nothing really has happened, has it? Now make a plan of action for each of these worst case situations. Go into detail. Rehearse imaginary conversations. When tackling your \u201cworst cases,\u201d you\u2019re like a general preparing for battle.<\/p>\n

You see, psychologists tell us that we use unhealthy \u201cstuck\u201d behaviors as defense mechanisms to avoid those issues we fear to face. For example, if our parents told us that being unemployed was \u201cbeing poor,\u201d then we fear unemployment to the extent that we spend our lives in miserable (but safe) jobs. In order to get unstuck we have to probe our fears, see how they\u2019ve created negative patterns, and deal with them by solving unrealized worst case scenarios.<\/p>\n

Of course, finishing up this project, it\u2019s a little premature to think you\u2019ve exited the rut just yet. It\u2019s late at night and you\u2019re still in the same job, same city, same relationship. You haven\u2019t lost any weight.<\/p>\n

But now you\u2019re aware of new aspects of yourself. Tomorrow take some baby steps (new food choices, looking at the job board at work) and later you\u2019ll consider the bigger steps (calling a headhunter for a new job, joining a club to lose weight, seeing a marriage counselor or divorce lawyer).<\/p>\n

Being stuck in a rut has simply been a way to protect yourself from fears you\u2019re reluctant to face. Acknowledge your fears, then realize the worst case scenarios aren\u2019t insurmountable, and BAM! you\u2019ve broken free.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all had our personal ruts. You wake up one morning realizing that there you are, seemingly trapped.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s your job–you\u2019re teetering on real burn-out but you\u2019re fearful of making the move to free yourself. Or a relationship that\u2019s going nowhere, but there you stay, justifying your misery (or boredom) for some dubious better-than-nothing qualities. Maybe it\u2019s the town you live in, or your apartment.<\/p>\n

The \u201cIf only\u2026\u201d theme keeps drifting across your mind.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t think about vinyl records much anymore, but the needles used to get caught in the same groove, endlessly repeating the same sound. And maybe yours is, \u201cI can\u2019t get out\u2026.can\u2019t get out\u2026can\u2019t get out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, people can and do get \u201cunstuck\u201d from all sorts of ruts and grooves. Every day, people bravely leap forward. Starry-eyed, and often looking ten years younger, a patient will show up one morning to say, \u201cI\u2019m finally heading to Petaluma\u201d and ask if I know a good doctor out there. There may be some stumbling at first. Not every change is an unqualified success, but the experience of the change itself is hardly ever regretted.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re serious about exiting a rut and willing to engage in an evening of self-exploration, here\u2019s a five-step activity to help you get unstuck.<\/p>\n

1. Take the issue in your life that you feel most intensely traps you. Maybe it\u2019s your weight, the job and the promotion you haven\u2019t received, or the people you work with. Or the city you\u2019re living in, your current relationship, or circle of friends. Now on a piece of paper headed \u201cMy Stuck Situation,\u201d draw lines to create three columns. In the first, list every reason you\u2019re reluctant to make changes. In the second, list the worst case scenarios if you would make changes. And in the third (here you can fantasize galore!), list all the possibilities your life can open to if and when you make the leap.<\/p>\n

2. Look at your \u201cworst case scenario\u201d column. I want you to think of word or phrase that describes your emotions when you look at this list. Somewhere there\u2019s a common thread to all your \u201cworst cases\u201d and you need to discover it. It might be I Fear the Unknown, or I Have Real Issues with Self Esteem. Or maybe: I Can\u2019t Upset My Parents, I Can\u2019t Disappoint People, or Challenges Frighten Me. There will be some phrase, and you might feel a shiver down your spine in the very act of writing it. Like it or not, this is part of your character. But, of course, you can change. People do, every day.<\/p>\n

3. Write that phrase boldly across the top of a second piece of paper and prepare for a personal review of your life story. Think back over your life and start listing examples of how this phrase permeated your significant life choices. Did you always take dumb jobs because you feared challenges? Did you always find yourself dating jerks because you felt unworthy of anyone better? Did you always stay in the same town because your parents made you feel guilty about leaving? As you work on this list, the words \u201cyikes!\u201d or \u201cgosh!\u201d (or a juicy expletive) might escape your lips, because you\u2019ll be amazed how ancient some of these issues actually are. But as psychologists say, \u201cNow we\u2019re getting somewhere.\u201d Becoming aware of yourself like this, even though it may be painful at first, is ultimately very healing.<\/p>\n

4. On a new sheet of paper, start listing how your phrase (\u201ccan\u2019t upset my parents,\u201d \u201clow self esteem,\u201d etc.) is currently affecting other aspects of your life. Maybe you\u2019ll unearth why you\u2019re always eating the same unhealthful foods. Watching the same TV programs. Taking the same vacations. Same love interests, like your dad.<\/p>\n

5. On the last piece of paper, re-write all those \u201cworst case scenarios.\u201d You\u2019ll probably feel just a teensy bit nervous as you write them out, but remember, they\u2019re only words. Nothing really has happened, has it? Now make a plan of action for each of these worst case situations. Go into detail. Rehearse imaginary conversations. When tackling your \u201cworst cases,\u201d you\u2019re like a general preparing for battle.<\/p>\n

You see, psychologists tell us that we use unhealthy \u201cstuck\u201d behaviors as defense mechanisms to avoid those issues we fear to face. For example, if our parents told us that being unemployed was \u201cbeing poor,\u201d then we fear unemployment to the extent that we spend our lives in miserable (but safe) jobs. In order to get unstuck we have to probe our fears, see how they\u2019ve created negative patterns, and deal with them by solving unrealized worst case scenarios.<\/p>\n

Of course, finishing up this project, it\u2019s a little premature to think you\u2019ve exited the rut just yet. It\u2019s late at night and you\u2019re still in the same job, same city, same relationship. You haven\u2019t lost any weight.<\/p>\n

But now you\u2019re aware of new aspects of yourself. Tomorrow take some baby steps (new food choices, looking at the job board at work) and later you\u2019ll consider the bigger steps (calling a headhunter for a new job, joining a club to lose weight, seeing a marriage counselor or divorce lawyer).<\/p>\n

Being stuck in a rut has simply been a way to protect yourself from fears you\u2019re reluctant to face. Acknowledge your fears, then realize the worst case scenarios aren\u2019t insurmountable, and BAM! you\u2019ve broken free. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2087,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,45,50,3],"tags":[300,302],"class_list":["post-3052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-f","category-healthy-lifestyle","category-knowledge-base","tag-lifestyle-changes","tag-rut"],"yoast_head":"\r\nFive Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago<\/title>\r\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\r\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We\u2019ve all had our personal ruts. You wake up one morning realizing that there you are, seemingly trapped. Maybe it\u2019s your job--you\u2019re teetering on real burn-out but you\u2019re fearful of making the move to free yourself. Or a relationship that\u2019s going nowhere, but there you stay, justifying your misery (or boredom) for some dubious better-than-nothing qualities. Maybe it\u2019s the town you live in, or your apartment. The \u201cIf only\u2026\u201d theme keeps drifting across your mind. People don\u2019t think about vinyl records much anymore, but the needles used to get caught in the same groove, endlessly repeating the same sound. And maybe yours is, \u201cI can\u2019t get out\u2026.can\u2019t get out\u2026can\u2019t get out.\u201d Well, people can and do get \u201cunstuck\u201d from all sorts of ruts and grooves. Every day, people bravely leap forward. Starry-eyed, and often looking ten years younger, a patient will show up one morning to say, \u201cI\u2019m finally heading to Petaluma\u201d and ask if I know a good doctor out there. There may be some stumbling at first. Not every change is an unqualified success, but the experience of the change itself is hardly ever regretted. If you\u2019re serious about exiting a rut and willing to engage in an evening of self-exploration, here\u2019s a five-step activity to help you get unstuck. 1. Take the issue in your life that you feel most intensely traps you. Maybe it\u2019s your weight, the job and the promotion you haven\u2019t received, or the people you work with. Or the city you\u2019re living in, your current relationship, or circle of friends. Now on a piece of paper headed \u201cMy Stuck Situation,\u201d draw lines to create three columns. In the first, list every reason you\u2019re reluctant to make changes. In the second, list the worst case scenarios if you would make changes. And in the third (here you can fantasize galore!), list all the possibilities your life can open to if and when you make the leap. 2. Look at your \u201cworst case scenario\u201d column. I want you to think of word or phrase that describes your emotions when you look at this list. Somewhere there\u2019s a common thread to all your \u201cworst cases\u201d and you need to discover it. It might be I Fear the Unknown, or I Have Real Issues with Self Esteem. Or maybe: I Can\u2019t Upset My Parents, I Can\u2019t Disappoint People, or Challenges Frighten Me. There will be some phrase, and you might feel a shiver down your spine in the very act of writing it. Like it or not, this is part of your character. But, of course, you can change. People do, every day. 3. Write that phrase boldly across the top of a second piece of paper and prepare for a personal review of your life story. Think back over your life and start listing examples of how this phrase permeated your significant life choices. Did you always take dumb jobs because you feared challenges? Did you always find yourself dating jerks because you felt unworthy of anyone better? Did you always stay in the same town because your parents made you feel guilty about leaving? As you work on this list, the words \u201cyikes!\u201d or \u201cgosh!\u201d (or a juicy expletive) might escape your lips, because you\u2019ll be amazed how ancient some of these issues actually are. But as psychologists say, \u201cNow we\u2019re getting somewhere.\u201d Becoming aware of yourself like this, even though it may be painful at first, is ultimately very healing. 4. On a new sheet of paper, start listing how your phrase (\u201ccan\u2019t upset my parents,\u201d \u201clow self esteem,\u201d etc.) is currently affecting other aspects of your life. Maybe you\u2019ll unearth why you\u2019re always eating the same unhealthful foods. Watching the same TV programs. Taking the same vacations. Same love interests, like your dad. 5. On the last piece of paper, re-write all those \u201cworst case scenarios.\u201d You\u2019ll probably feel just a teensy bit nervous as you write them out, but remember, they\u2019re only words. Nothing really has happened, has it? Now make a plan of action for each of these worst case situations. Go into detail. Rehearse imaginary conversations. When tackling your \u201cworst cases,\u201d you\u2019re like a general preparing for battle. You see, psychologists tell us that we use unhealthy \u201cstuck\u201d behaviors as defense mechanisms to avoid those issues we fear to face. For example, if our parents told us that being unemployed was \u201cbeing poor,\u201d then we fear unemployment to the extent that we spend our lives in miserable (but safe) jobs. In order to get unstuck we have to probe our fears, see how they\u2019ve created negative patterns, and deal with them by solving unrealized worst case scenarios. Of course, finishing up this project, it\u2019s a little premature to think you\u2019ve exited the rut just yet. It\u2019s late at night and you\u2019re still in the same job, same city, same relationship. You haven\u2019t lost any weight. But now you\u2019re aware of new aspects of yourself. Tomorrow take some baby steps (new food choices, looking at the job board at work) and later you\u2019ll consider the bigger steps (calling a headhunter for a new job, joining a club to lose weight, seeing a marriage counselor or divorce lawyer). Being stuck in a rut has simply been a way to protect yourself from fears you\u2019re reluctant to face. Acknowledge your fears, then realize the worst case scenarios aren\u2019t insurmountable, and BAM! you\u2019ve broken free.\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"WholeHealth Chicago\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/wholehealthchicago\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2007-01-08T19:18:16+00:00\" \/>\r\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-03-23T02:50:57+00:00\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"wholehealthchicago\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@wholehealthchi\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@wholehealthchi\" \/>\r\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"wholehealthchicago\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\r\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut\",\"name\":\"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2007-01-08T19:18:16+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-03-23T02:50:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/8f28cef347f94e6801d2bdd38b9cea19\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"WholeHealth Chicago\",\"description\":\"WholeHealth Chicago is the Midwest's oldest and most respected center for integrative care, successfully blending the latest advances in conventional medicine with a wide range of clinically proven alternative therapies.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/8f28cef347f94e6801d2bdd38b9cea19\",\"name\":\"wholehealthchicago\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b63bce17acaeb51f185933c60fa6fa86c347679a70b79ec51e5b772e271a469f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b63bce17acaeb51f185933c60fa6fa86c347679a70b79ec51e5b772e271a469f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"wholehealthchicago\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/author\/wholehealthchicago\"}]}<\/script>\r\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago","og_description":"We\u2019ve all had our personal ruts. You wake up one morning realizing that there you are, seemingly trapped. Maybe it\u2019s your job--you\u2019re teetering on real burn-out but you\u2019re fearful of making the move to free yourself. Or a relationship that\u2019s going nowhere, but there you stay, justifying your misery (or boredom) for some dubious better-than-nothing qualities. Maybe it\u2019s the town you live in, or your apartment. The \u201cIf only\u2026\u201d theme keeps drifting across your mind. People don\u2019t think about vinyl records much anymore, but the needles used to get caught in the same groove, endlessly repeating the same sound. And maybe yours is, \u201cI can\u2019t get out\u2026.can\u2019t get out\u2026can\u2019t get out.\u201d Well, people can and do get \u201cunstuck\u201d from all sorts of ruts and grooves. Every day, people bravely leap forward. Starry-eyed, and often looking ten years younger, a patient will show up one morning to say, \u201cI\u2019m finally heading to Petaluma\u201d and ask if I know a good doctor out there. There may be some stumbling at first. Not every change is an unqualified success, but the experience of the change itself is hardly ever regretted. If you\u2019re serious about exiting a rut and willing to engage in an evening of self-exploration, here\u2019s a five-step activity to help you get unstuck. 1. Take the issue in your life that you feel most intensely traps you. Maybe it\u2019s your weight, the job and the promotion you haven\u2019t received, or the people you work with. Or the city you\u2019re living in, your current relationship, or circle of friends. Now on a piece of paper headed \u201cMy Stuck Situation,\u201d draw lines to create three columns. In the first, list every reason you\u2019re reluctant to make changes. In the second, list the worst case scenarios if you would make changes. And in the third (here you can fantasize galore!), list all the possibilities your life can open to if and when you make the leap. 2. Look at your \u201cworst case scenario\u201d column. I want you to think of word or phrase that describes your emotions when you look at this list. Somewhere there\u2019s a common thread to all your \u201cworst cases\u201d and you need to discover it. It might be I Fear the Unknown, or I Have Real Issues with Self Esteem. Or maybe: I Can\u2019t Upset My Parents, I Can\u2019t Disappoint People, or Challenges Frighten Me. There will be some phrase, and you might feel a shiver down your spine in the very act of writing it. Like it or not, this is part of your character. But, of course, you can change. People do, every day. 3. Write that phrase boldly across the top of a second piece of paper and prepare for a personal review of your life story. Think back over your life and start listing examples of how this phrase permeated your significant life choices. Did you always take dumb jobs because you feared challenges? Did you always find yourself dating jerks because you felt unworthy of anyone better? Did you always stay in the same town because your parents made you feel guilty about leaving? As you work on this list, the words \u201cyikes!\u201d or \u201cgosh!\u201d (or a juicy expletive) might escape your lips, because you\u2019ll be amazed how ancient some of these issues actually are. But as psychologists say, \u201cNow we\u2019re getting somewhere.\u201d Becoming aware of yourself like this, even though it may be painful at first, is ultimately very healing. 4. On a new sheet of paper, start listing how your phrase (\u201ccan\u2019t upset my parents,\u201d \u201clow self esteem,\u201d etc.) is currently affecting other aspects of your life. Maybe you\u2019ll unearth why you\u2019re always eating the same unhealthful foods. Watching the same TV programs. Taking the same vacations. Same love interests, like your dad. 5. On the last piece of paper, re-write all those \u201cworst case scenarios.\u201d You\u2019ll probably feel just a teensy bit nervous as you write them out, but remember, they\u2019re only words. Nothing really has happened, has it? Now make a plan of action for each of these worst case situations. Go into detail. Rehearse imaginary conversations. When tackling your \u201cworst cases,\u201d you\u2019re like a general preparing for battle. You see, psychologists tell us that we use unhealthy \u201cstuck\u201d behaviors as defense mechanisms to avoid those issues we fear to face. For example, if our parents told us that being unemployed was \u201cbeing poor,\u201d then we fear unemployment to the extent that we spend our lives in miserable (but safe) jobs. In order to get unstuck we have to probe our fears, see how they\u2019ve created negative patterns, and deal with them by solving unrealized worst case scenarios. Of course, finishing up this project, it\u2019s a little premature to think you\u2019ve exited the rut just yet. It\u2019s late at night and you\u2019re still in the same job, same city, same relationship. You haven\u2019t lost any weight. But now you\u2019re aware of new aspects of yourself. Tomorrow take some baby steps (new food choices, looking at the job board at work) and later you\u2019ll consider the bigger steps (calling a headhunter for a new job, joining a club to lose weight, seeing a marriage counselor or divorce lawyer). Being stuck in a rut has simply been a way to protect yourself from fears you\u2019re reluctant to face. Acknowledge your fears, then realize the worst case scenarios aren\u2019t insurmountable, and BAM! you\u2019ve broken free.","og_url":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","og_site_name":"WholeHealth Chicago","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/wholehealthchicago","article_published_time":"2007-01-08T19:18:16+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-03-23T02:50:57+00:00","author":"wholehealthchicago","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@wholehealthchi","twitter_site":"@wholehealthchi","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"wholehealthchicago","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","url":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut","name":"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut - WholeHealth Chicago","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#website"},"datePublished":"2007-01-08T19:18:16+00:00","dateModified":"2021-03-23T02:50:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/8f28cef347f94e6801d2bdd38b9cea19"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/08\/five-steps-to-exiting-the-rut#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Five Steps to Exiting the Rut"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/","name":"WholeHealth Chicago","description":"WholeHealth Chicago is the Midwest's oldest and most respected center for integrative care, successfully blending the latest advances in conventional medicine with a wide range of clinically proven alternative therapies.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/8f28cef347f94e6801d2bdd38b9cea19","name":"wholehealthchicago","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b63bce17acaeb51f185933c60fa6fa86c347679a70b79ec51e5b772e271a469f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b63bce17acaeb51f185933c60fa6fa86c347679a70b79ec51e5b772e271a469f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"wholehealthchicago"},"url":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/author\/wholehealthchicago"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2087"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3052"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3052\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26695,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3052\/revisions\/26695"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wholehealthchicago.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}